Category Archives: funny

Nerd !!!

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Second sessionals are going on . Having not appeared for the first sessionals , its really important for me to score good marks in DBMS this time around . But here I am . Instead of struggling with SQL , I am spending my time here , chatting , blogging , and blah-blah-ing at twitter 😛 .

You know what I used to be two years back in intermediate ??? I was like , say , even if there was an exam next week , its nerdtime to spend some a lot of  time with the books ????  No television , no time pass , no nothing … and excuse me , what is Internet ?? A classic example of a study bug … a mugger . Had it not been the desk rotation policy in classes , I guess I would have been a first bencher all the way . And guess what … I secured 100% attendance in High School and was also awarded “Most Disciplined Student” ( Disciplined ??? ahemm ahemm…).  Elected as a captain twice in a row ,  92.8% in Xth , 94% in XIIth , my teachers still set my case as an example for the juniors .study ??

And now , two years from then , I have totally turned into a study repellant creature . What has got into me ?? Is this the transition from school to college ?? Can’ be . I still find the existence of a number of muggers here. They study , study , study , study and study ( just like I used to do ) . And when I tag them “book worms” I realize that two years back , someone would have tagged me with the same title too . Is that the reason ( the fear of being mocked at ) that has transformed a mugger ?? Or is this caused due to the lack of parent’s supervision in hostel ?? God only Knows !!!

Now as exams approach , everyone seems to be reminding me a few things again and again …..

  • Semesters are approaching . Start studying now . ( As if studying would delay the semesters 😕 )
  • Books are supposed to be your best friend ( I thought Dog was my best friend 😯 ) .
  • Don’t construct any destructive plans of cheating in theory exams ( cheats are only to be used in practicals 😛 ) .
  • Put a halt to your online activities for some time . No one will hack your account during your absence . ( Me and my hackophobia 😦 )
  • No Counter Strike . No NFS . No AOE for few days . ( That’s just a game . You don’t need to escape a hot pursuit . Neither are the terrorists planting a bomb under your nose )
  • Facebook is your enemy . Twitter is monstrous . Orkut is banned anyway .
  • Stop posting nonsense on your blog for few days . There is no need to reveal your insanity to the whole world .

3……

2……

1……

Go…Go…Go !!!!!!!

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The Golgappa Competition

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3 days back (in the hostel)

Cena (Abhinav) : Everyday when I am done with the coaching , I make my way to the Chaat Corner in the market and help myself with a plate of Golgappa .
Me : I just love Golgappas . I can eat as many as you bring in front of me .
Cena : Whatever amount it may be , you won’t be able to overtake me .
Me : Are you sure ?
Cena : Of course .
Me : Then why don’t we see it for ourself . Lets have a Golgappa Competition . Eat as many as you can . Losers to pay .
Cena : Done .

2 days back (on the way to gym)

Cena : By the way . Have you ever entered into such a competition earlier ?
Me : Yeah I have .
Cena : So ?
Me : So what ? I won . Isn’t that obvious ?
Cena : What was the number ?
Me : It took me 57 to win .
Cena (with a shocking look ) : I back off .
( I smiled . I knew he was an easy opponent )

A little later that day (in hostel)

Ashu : Harry . Why do you make so many cock and bull stories ?
Me : Which story ?
Ashu : You said you went upto 57 . That’s a white lie . When will you give up your habit of crafting stories ?
Me : If you don’t believe me , you can see it for yourself .
Ashu : Cena , don’t believe him . He is lying . You can easily defeat him . Go for it . If you lose , I will be your one-third financer .
Cena : Lets go for it then .
(At this point , I thanked Ashu for convincing Cena back to the competition)

Yesterday (in Sector 10 … our Kurukshetra)

Me : All set for competition ?
Cena : Absolutely .

Suddenly phone rang .
Abhi : Don’t start it . We are on our way . You have got an audience .

So the stage was set . Plates ready . Chaatwaala ready to fire Golgappas into our plates .
The count started . Comments and words of encouragements were coming out rapidly from the spectators ( Abhishek , Vivek , Raghav , Vibhuti , Ashu and Faraz) . The soldiers were standing steadily in the battlefield .

1…5….10….20…30….

No signs of giving up yet .  Audience was split into two corners , encouraging the contestants to live up to the situation . Counting was not to be stopped .

31…35…40….50….

Half Century . Excellent . Everyone thought that we will hit a century . But at this time , I started losing it . I knew its not long until I vomit it out .

51…55….56….57…..

I was a goner by this time . The magic number 57 strikes . I knew I won’t be able to hold it any further .

Vivek : Harry . Do you give up ?

I nodded . And the nod was followed by the vomiting . My stomach was unable to endure it . I lost the battle . Cena was celebrating . We shook hands and like a lost warrior , I made my way to the stairs of the nearest shop and helplessly , I kept looking at my friends having their own share of Golgappas . ( Hoping that atleast they would eat like Homo Sapiens . Afterall , it was loser to pay )

Cena : I never thought I could eat so much . No matter . Well tried .
Me : Yeah Yeah . Well tried indeed . Now give me the bill . (making my way to my wallet , pondering over the bill)

The Devil’s Number

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Have you ever made an effort to give Mr. Devil a missed call ? Or have you ever received one from him ? ….. If not , then give it a try right now . Mr. Devil has his own personalized private number – 666 ( P.S. no special tariffs or SMS card will work on this number …. Dial at your own risk ) 😛

666

According to Uncyclopedia : “Apparantly, 666 is not God’s devilfavorite number. It is Satan’s favorite (thought you might have already known that) (also, my dog’s favorite, since he enjoys pooping about 666 times a day). Someone called Fungus (a guy who is dead for 666 years) asked God one day “Please, could I go back to Earth and start a new life (that’s reincarnation, mate)?”. In response, God took 6.66 minutes of quiet thinking and afterwards replied: “Go to hell”. And so he did. After he got there, the Devil let Fungus go back to Earth thanks to his schmearing skills (also, pie cooking skills – I’m serious, that guy used to be The Great Imperial Cooker of Persia back in his age. Could cook about 666 pies/second).

Warning : The King of Darkness , the ultimate villain and the proud owner of the magical deadly number 666 has kept an eye on this post . All the readers who pass by without leaving a comment will be subjected to the extreme torment in hellfire . 😀 😀