3 of the most irritating hours of my life

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Over the past few weeks I saw an array of superbly crafted awesome Bollywood movies …… I can’t help but to think that this was the brave new Bollywood. ….First Rock On……This movie connects with you because most of us have dreams, maybe not rockstar material but “alternate careers” we could have been successful and happy in had we simply had the guts to follow them.

Next week I saw A Wednesday…… It has never been more relevant than today when as a common man you step out without the guarantee of returning home alive…… Naseer and Anupam Kher and the assorted cast of this thriller played it so flawlessly that its difficult for me to imagine these actors in any other kind of role …… I say if you haven’t seen this movie yet book your ticket now and go.

So when you have been exposed to such good hindi films you expect your luck to continue.So in all excitement I made a plan to go for a show of Kidnap today ……Call it my bad luck , or hostile circumstances ….. we were unable to make it in time and thus , attention was shifted from “Kidnap” to “Drona”…..(or should I say “Rona”)


D for Drona; D for Disappointment; D for Dullness; D for Dawdling; D for Daft & D for Damnation! I may sound like Chunni babu in D for Devdas but those were my exact sentiments while trooping out of the theatre on a lazy holiday afternoon after watching Drona.

Well, okay. First things first – it was bad. I mean…really, really bad. And the thing is I wanted to like it even after reading all the negative reviews.Since I had no option left but to watch it (thanks a lot to my friends) , I was hoping they were wrong.
But they weren’t. Here’s why Drona crashes and burns.

1. Story. Umm, where was it? I don’t know why filmmakers forget again and again that all the flashy tricks in the world cannot hide a bad script. Drona had no script to speak of.

2. Set Design and Graphics. Truly horrendous. I mean, it reminded me of the stuff you see on tele-serials …pretty bad for TV but unforgivable for the silver screen.

3. Character . Drona is supposed to be the super-hero but his was the most poorly written character in the film. He had no depth, no scope, and barely any dialogue. It’s hard to feel inspired by a hero who seems to do nothing but feel sorry for himself. In fact, he was totally upstaged by the way more interesting Riz Raizada.

4. Songs. Seriously people, are we still so way behind on song placement? I haven’t seen such inconveniently and unnecessarily placed songs in a Bollywood film in quite a while. Work them in – but weave them smartly.

5. Genre. Pick one and stick to it. If you want to do super-hero, do super-hero. If you want to do fantasy, do fantasy. You can’t mix and match from your favorite Hollywood flicks, stitch it together and call it a movie.

 

My verdict :
• Goldie Behl should stop having anything to do with Bollywood
• Who ever wrote the dialogues of the movie aught to be shot
• Kay Kay as the clownish villain saved the day
• Abhishek Bachchan looked to be Priyanka Chopra’s wife
• Priyanka Chopra doesn’t know anything …… all of her dialogues start with “Babuji kehte the”……lady tum batao tum kya kehti thi …….

 

Go and watch the movie :
• If you want to test how much of torture you can endure
• If you can do anything for Abhishek Bachchan
• If you can do anything for Priyanka Chopra

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16 responses »

  1. what a review of that film…… truly i hvn’t seen that level of disgusting movie in my entire life

    and one thing more harsh do u want to be a critics ….a job is now opened for u ………..;)

  2. a movie like that can arouse a critic even out of a dead man……such a waste of time……You should have seen the rush at the end of the movie…….Everyone was in a hurry to leave as soon as possible…… 😡

  3. now that was quite some review!!…”Rock On” and “a wednesday” were superb and Farhan Akhtar is the best thing that could have happened to Bollywood and what to say of Anupam Kher and Naseer..they are the real rock stars with their terrific performance!!

    as for “Drona”..the review in papers were not too gud and after reading yours I will seriously avoid “DRONA” or I must say RONA…lol!!

    Nd I fully agree with Vibhuti!!

    🙂

  4. HAHAHA this is by far the best review I have read of this weirdo thing- cant call it a movie..
    and I was rolling out – //lady tum batao tum kya kehti thi//

    HAHHHAAHA.
    glad I found my way here thru a comment you left for my birthday post!
    Thanks- yeah I had great shopping session.

  5. @mahak…….glad you liked my review …… frankly speaking it was not intended to be a review …… It was all the frustration that I poured out through this blog…..

    Seriously , who was to be blamed if I had suffered a nervous breakdown 😡

  6. I am sure abhishek must be going thru blogs..reading all the reviews..and hence the desperation to prompte the film more..

    I was so amazed when i saw on all his dear friends on Tv..aka..Preity Zinta..shahrukh..yash Chopra..Arjun Rampal..all praising the movie..and endorsing it to be a must watch!! lol.

    🙂

  7. Looks like we have similar taste in movies. I adored Rock On and A Wednesday was the stuff of classics. If I had any intention of watching Drona, I think it’s gone. I’ve found enough entertainment on your blog 🙂

  8. @mystical …… well all of them are just trying to be in good lines with the Bachchans ….. everyone knows that they are faking it …..

    @shivya…..its better off burning a 100 rupee note than going for the movie ….. its such a waste …..

    @vidya …… glad that I saved you from such a mental torture … 😉

  9. Even i faced the same story what you did….And the worst part of my life is, i presumed the movie to be very good and i booked the tickets for myself and my friends(the biggest mistake i did in my life) in GOLD CLASS, PVR CINEMAS, Bangalore, spending thousands of rupees for a cartoon!!!! Anyways, hoping to see some better movies ahead…….

  10. funniest Review of a movie I have ever read
    lols I really think you hated watching “The-Rona”

    I liked your chunni baabu’s style description

  11. D for Disaster it was…!!

    I have another few sets of 3 irritating hours – Raju Chacha, Bhagam Bhag, Malamaal Weekly, and a few names I thankfully don’t remember! 😡

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